Hello, Haters!

Why writers should embrace rejection and negative comments

Photo by Ryan Snaadt on Unsplash

You’re going about your business, enjoying the day, when you get a notification that you have a new comment. After a couple clicks, you land upon the hatred on the page. Now, the sunshine above feels as if it’s been splashed with a bucket of darkness. Or, you see an email in your inbox from the publisher you’ve waited to hear back from for months. Again, the quick, robotic-sounding denial leaves you slumped over as you wallow in your personal pool of rejection.

We all face it. We get rejected. We receive hateful or ignorant comments. We feel like we are on the wrong path. We question our writing and ourselves.

Then, we feel the complete opposite emotions as we get positive comments, new subscribers or signs from the Universe that we are exactly where we should be. This positivity washes through us and motivates us to return to our computers to churn out more content.

But, what if we didn’t allow the reactions of strangers to have so much power over us? What if we accepted the fact that some people won’t connect with our words or our messages? What if we remembered that our written work is valuable even if it stirs up anger, resentment or disapproval in others?

There are several ways to handle rejection or negativity that enable you to not feel deflated thereafter. Better yet, there is a lot to be gained by indirectly confronting the haters:

1. Recognize the learning opportunity before you. If you received a rejection letter from a literary journal, for example, be inspired to deliver something better next time. Use the rejection to grow and improve by studying the publication and its current poems and stories. Consider adjusting your style. If feedback from editors is offered, absorb every word of it. It is a gift to be told “no” as it pushes us to be better.

2. See comments (both good and bad) as interaction and interest. At least people are reading your words. They are engaging. Maybe you even triggered them, which means you have the power to do so. Good for you! You are not just writing in your own safe journal. You are bravely putting your creativity out there, knowing that some people will judge it, misinterpret it or simply not like it. Good or bad, they are looking, reading and responding. You struck a chord.

3. Let go! Read the negative words, consider them if you choose to do so and then move forward. Do not rent out valuable brain space to something that makes you question your talent. Instead, acknowledge the message and keep on moving.

Praise and criticism seem to me to operate exactly on the same level. If you get a great review, it's really thrilling for about ten minutes. If you get a bad review, it's really crushing for ten minutes. Either way, you go on. — Ann Patchett

Patchett makes a great point in the quote above: great or bad, give it a few minutes and move forward. That’s really the goal: stay present. Don’t worry about a rejection letter you got a month ago or a negative comment you received this morning. That is all in the past. Patchett points out that you move forward and keep writing anyway. So, what’s the difference really? You know your abilities and your goals. Stay focused.

We all know the stories: Some of the all-time greats were frequently rejected before they became successful. Stephen King, for one, faced countless rejections and was even told his stories were too dark. Can you imagine the stories we readers would have missed out on if King had let those rejections trump his desire to write?

One of my favorite authors, who sparked my own interest in writing, was also rejected by dozens of publishers. This author, Dr. Seuss, then went on to write more than 60 children’s books. Rejection clearly doesn’t mean that you’re not talented or that your works won’t be widely received. It just means the right set of eyes hasn’t landed on your manuscript or it means you have some evolving to do as a writer.

So, write, learn and grow today. Be grateful that readers are finding your work and feeling the need to respond. Their engagement is a symbol of your courage — it means you took a risk and put yourself out there. You know how to get people thinking and reacting.

The haters out there have nothin’ on you!